BLEACH the Musical, Explicit Version
by Lemon Cookies
Summary: If life was a musical in the world of Bleach... except with yaoi, crack, romance, randomness, and lots of inappropriate things! Song suggestions welcome.
1. Uryu's Dad

**Original song**: Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne

Ichigo's Solo – _Uryu's Dad_

Uryu's dad has got the gonads  
Uryu's dad has got the gonads  
Uryu's dad has got the gonads  
Uryu's dad has got the gonads

Uryu can I come over after schoo-oo-oo-oo-ool  
(After school)  
You can fix up Kon and make him look coo-oo-oo-oo-ool  
(Make him a fool)  
Did your dad get back from his business trip  
(Business trip)  
Is he there, and would he mind if we double di-i-i-i-ip  
(Double dip)  
You know I'm not the little boy that I used to be  
I'm a soul reaper now  
Baby, can't you see

Uryu's dad has got the gonads  
He's all I want  
And I want him so bad  
Uryu can't you see  
You're just not the Quincy for me  
I know it might be sad  
But I'm in love with Uryu's dad

Uryu, do you remember when we went to Soul Society  
(Soul Society)  
When we got back your dad said you could no longer see-e-e-e-e  
(See me)  
I could tell he like me by the way he glared  
(Way he glared)  
And the way he said, "You missed a Hollow over ther-e-e-e-re"  
(Hollow over there)  
And I know that you think it's just a fantasy  
But since your mom's not in the manga  
Your dad could use a guy like me

Uryu's dad has got the gonads  
He's all I want  
And I want him so bad  
Uryu can't you see  
You're just not the Quincy for me  
I know it's just a fad  
But I'm in love with Uryu's dad

I'm in love with  
Uryu's dad  
Oh-oh, oh-oh  
I'm in love with  
Uryu's dad  
Oh-oh, oh-oh  
Wait a minute  
Uryu can't you see  
You're just not the Quincy for me  
I know it might be bad  
But I'm in love with Uryu's dad


	2. So What

**Original Song**: So What by Pink

Momo's Solo – _So What_

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
Na, na, na, na, na, na  
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
Na, na, na, na, na, na

I guess I just lost my captain  
I don't know where he's gone  
So who's gonna rule the squadron  
Who's gonna turn me on

I got a brand new heart ache  
I don't know what went wrong  
Men always cause so much trouble  
Maybe I'll get with Soi Fon

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
Maybe I'll get with Soi Fon  
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
I wanna get with Soi Fon

So, so what, I'm still lieutenant  
I got Izuru and I don't need you  
And guess what, we're havin' more fun  
And now that we're done I'm gonna show you tonight

He's alright, I'm just fine and you're a fool  
So, so what, I am lieutenant  
I got my Zanpakuto and I don't want you tonight

Aizen just stabbed my stomach  
Now I can't have his kid  
I guess I'll go sit with Izuru  
Maybe it was his

What if Aizen hears this song?  
Somebody's gonna die  
Maybe I shouldn't mention  
I saw him making out with a guy

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
Making out with a guy  
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
Oh my god, it was Abarai!

So, so what, I'm still lieutenant  
I got Izuru and I don't need you  
And guess what, we're havin' more fun  
And now that we're done I'm gonna show you tonight

He's alright, I'm just fine and you're a fool  
So, so what, I am lieutenant  
I got my Zanpakuto and I don't want you tonight

You weren't there, you never were  
You want it all but that's not fair  
I gave you trust, I gave my all  
You weren't there, you made me fall


	3. When I Grow Up

**Original Song**: When I Grow Up by The Pussycat Dolls

Renji's Rap – _When I Grow Up_

Boys call you sexy  
And you don't even know  
See every time you turn around they screaming "Taichou"  
Boys call you sexy  
And you don't even know  
See every time you turn around they screaming "Taichou"

Now I've got a confession  
When I was young I wanted attention  
And I promised myself that I'd do anything  
Anything at all for you to notice me  
But I ain't just flappin  
We all wanna be captain  
So go ahead and say that ain't okay  
But you don't know where I have been  
Want you to know what's happenin'  
Cus see when I was younger I would say

When I grow up  
I wanna be Taichou  
Don't wanna be a stray dog  
I wanna be seme

When I grow up  
I wanna rule Seretei  
Have a nice Bankai  
I wanna have ukes

When I grow up  
Be on Kuchiki  
People know me  
Beyond the boonies

When I grow up  
Big and mean  
Number one dawg when I step out on the scene

Be careful what you wish for cus you might not get it  
You might not get it  
You might not get it

Be careful what you wish for cus you just might get it  
You just might get it  
You just might get it

They used to tell me I was silly  
Until I popped up on Seretei  
I always wanted to be a shooting star  
And knew that following you would get me this far


	4. Hey Soul Reaper

**Original song**: Hey Soul Sister by Train

Rukia's Solo – _Hey Soul Reaper_

Hey, hey, hey

Your warm blood stains on the white parts of my black robe, Kaien  
I knew I wouldn't forget you, and so I went and let you be impaled  
Your zanpakuto, the smell of salt in every strike you throw  
And when our waves collided, you're the one whom I decided to harpoon like a whale

Hey soul reaper, ain't that Mr. Creeper in your so-o-ul, oh no-o, the way you're dyin' ain't fair, you know!  
Hey soul reaper, I don't want to keep the awful memories we share...tonight  
Hey, hey, hey

Just in time, you let your consciousness reclaim your mind for me  
You're giving me depression, but I still have a confession that I can't undo:  
I'm so obsessed, and as your heart spills from your wounded chest,  
I still believe in you, like a virgin, you are bleeding, and I'm always gonna wanna perform seppuku

Hey soul reaper, ain't that Mr. Creeper in your so-o-ul, oh no-o, the way you're dyin' ain't fair, you know!  
Hey soul reaper, I don't want to keep the awful memories we share...tonight

The way you moan and pant, I watch you like tomorrow will never be  
You're lieutenant, not a Hollow, and you're the only one I'd follow  
You see, I could be myself then finally, in fact there was nothing I couldn't be  
I wanted the world to see you be with me

Hey soul reaper, ain't that Mr. Creeper in your so-o-ul, oh no-o, the way you're dyin' ain't fair, you know!  
Hey soul reaper, I don't want to keep the awful memories we share tonight  
Hey soul reaper, I don't want to keep the awful memories we share...tonight  
Hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey

Tonight


End file.
